I am a CONFIDENCE coach. Rarely have I encountered a woman that was fearful of success, but rather it boiled down to a fear of the process of getting there; the journey to success. We know that in order to change our circumstance, we must change our actions, routine, relationships, or methodology. That realization drives the questions that eat away at our egos.
AM I good enough? CAN I perform at the level needed? WHAT IF I fail? HOW LONG will it take? Suppose I can’t? But if I don’t? Do I have enough time? Am I ready? Do I need to prepare more? How will I manage until then?
These questions give rise to FEAR. Your brain and your body go into overdrive to protect you from any perceived threats. You begin to suffer small symptoms of stress and anxiety. Each of us exhibit in different ways, but most of us have been there. Once you are there, you have a choice ~ push through the fear and possibly achieve something amazing with your breakthrough, or to stay where you are.
If you are COMFORTABLE where you are, like I have been at various times in my life, I have stayed instead of pushed through. There have been times when I have even convinced myself that I was where the Universe intended me to be; and I should stop being ungrateful.
I have come to realize that I choose security over uncertainty of a new JOURNEY. I chose to work for a company with guaranteed benefits and a paycheck every week so that I could feed my kids.
I was fearful of having to financially struggle with two toddlers. I would have taken a different path had I not been a mother. I would have lived with the uncertainty of being a performing artist, and made my way to New York or Europe. But I MANIFESTED “corporate professional” and I’m not unhappy with the outcome.
I expressed three things I wanted to be in elementary school on Career Day. I’d say “I want to be an actress, Business Woman or in the Air Force”. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and into college; starred in shows, and I am an Air Force brat, but I got a degree in economics, SUBCONSCIOUSLY setting myself up for the back-up plan ~ Business Woman.
Wherever your attention goes, so goes your ENERGY. Wherever goes your energy, so goes what you manifest into your life. I did not know I was visualizing, programming my brain for the future.
I became that woman on airplanes in business class sometimes first, traveling internationally for weeks- long business trips. I became that WOMAN, in commercial real estate conference room negotiations of $20 - $100mm construction lending deals.
I became that woman in corporate dining rooms and restaurants with CEOs and execs; clients in the top 20%, investor meetings; limousines, POTUS and FLOTUS receptions.
I rode the elevator with George W. Bush, along with my boss and secret service agents while he was acting president. I’ve engaged with MICHELE Obama, on two different occasions; once, formally introducing her to the audience.
I had the confidence to rise to the occasion when needed because I had been visualizing these scenarios for decades; I was confident that I BELONGED in those settings. I knew and I counted on getting paid and with medical benefits. Certainty erases the fear of the unknown.
There are CROSSROADS in life, mine included; forks in the road when you have to choose to veer right, left, or stay the course. Staying the course may or may not be comfortable, but it is familiar. I coach women who curse themselves for staying the course time after time. They know that choosing right or left could bring new adventures, greater victories, bigger rewards, but only if the fear of the unknown can be conquered.
A lack of confidence will have you stay the course every time, even knowing you have reached your limit on that course; even knowing that right or left is GUARANTEED to bring new heights. But the nagging questions ~ “What will it take to get there? I’ve seen others do it, but can I?” I have faced these crossroads in the past and I have stayed the course; stuck with the familiar, because I did not trust myself, my own instinct.
I am priming myself now for 2024, new adventures, CROSSROADS, a right or a left that will take me to new places. I am preparing myself now, building my confidence by visualizing my new reality, meditating on desired outcomes, exercising, and eating nutritious foods to feed my body and my brain. I am building my inner confidence, reminding myself of who I am, how I got here, what it took, the grit and guts I have, the courage I exhibit, and the fearless way I walk into a room. 2024? I’m not even stressing. I got this.
Ladies, LOVE yourself confidently and remember at all times the many complicated LAYERS that make up you. The aspects and facets, the NUANCES of what makes you, uniquely you. Be confident at all times. You are THE shit. Don’t forget it.
KarenA ~ THEKarenA ~ Bowen Boldon House ~ Clark Nation ~ Giver of Life ~ Lover of Lands ~ Corporate Queen ~ Queen Mother ~ Producing Artist ~ Leader of Thoughts ~ Coach of Confidence
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