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FEAR OF SUCCESS? Or, LACK OF CONFIDENCE? 

I am a CONFIDENCE coach. Rarely have I encountered a woman that was fearful of success, but rather it boiled down to a fear of the process of getting there; the journey to success.  We know that in order to change our circumstance, we must change our actions, routine, relationships, or methodology. That realization drives the questions that eat away at our egos.

AM I good enough? CAN I perform at the level needed? WHAT IF I fail? HOW LONG will it take? Suppose I can’t? But if I don’t? Do I have enough time? Am I ready? Do I need to prepare more? How will I manage until then?

These questions give rise to FEAR. Your brain and your body go into overdrive to protect you from any perceived threats. You begin to suffer small symptoms of stress and anxiety. Each of us exhibit in different ways, but most of us have been there. Once you are there, you have a choice ~ push through the fear and possibly achieve something amazing with your breakthrough, or to stay where you are.

If you are COMFORTABLE where you are, like I have been at various times in my life, I have stayed instead of pushed through. There have been times when I have even convinced myself that I was where the Universe intended me to be; and I should stop being ungrateful.

I have come to realize that I choose security over uncertainty of a new JOURNEY. I chose to work for a company with guaranteed benefits and a paycheck every week so that I could feed my kids.

I was fearful of having to financially struggle with two toddlers. I would have taken a different path had I not been a mother. I would have lived with the uncertainty of being a performing artist, and made my way to New York or Europe. But I MANIFESTED “corporate professional” and I’m not unhappy with the outcome.

I expressed three things I wanted to be in elementary school on Career Day. I’d say “I want to be an actress, Business Woman or in the Air Force”. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and into college; starred in shows, and I am an Air Force brat, but I got a degree in economics, SUBCONSCIOUSLY setting myself up for the back-up plan ~ Business Woman.

Wherever your attention goes, so goes your ENERGY. Wherever goes your energy, so goes what you manifest into your life. I did not know I was visualizing, programming my brain for the future.

I became that woman on airplanes in business class sometimes first, traveling internationally for weeks- long business trips. I became that WOMAN, in commercial real estate conference room negotiations of $20 - $100mm construction lending deals.

I became that woman in corporate dining rooms and restaurants with CEOs and execs; clients in the top 20%, investor meetings; limousines, POTUS and FLOTUS receptions.

I rode the elevator with George W. Bush, along with my boss and secret service agents while he was acting president. I’ve engaged with MICHELE Obama, on two different occasions; once, formally introducing her to the audience.

I had the confidence to rise to the occasion when needed because I had been visualizing these scenarios for decades; I was confident that I BELONGED in those settings. I knew and I counted on getting paid and with medical benefits. Certainty erases the fear of the unknown.

There are CROSSROADS in life, mine included; forks in the road when you have to choose to veer right, left, or stay the course. Staying the course may or may not be comfortable, but it is familiar. I coach women who curse themselves for staying the course time after time. They know that choosing right or left could bring new adventures, greater victories, bigger rewards, but only if the fear of the unknown can be conquered.

A lack of confidence will have you stay the course every time, even knowing you have reached your limit on that course; even knowing that right or left is GUARANTEED to bring new heights. But the nagging questions ~ “What will it take to get there? I’ve seen others do it, but can I?” I have faced these crossroads in the past and I have stayed the course; stuck with the familiar, because I did not trust myself, my own instinct.

I am priming myself now for 2024, new adventures, CROSSROADS, a right or a left that will take me to new places. I am preparing myself now, building my confidence by visualizing my new reality, meditating on desired outcomes, exercising, and eating nutritious foods to feed my body and my brain. I am building my inner confidence, reminding myself of who I am, how I got here, what it took, the grit and guts I have, the courage I exhibit, and the fearless way I walk into a room. 2024? I’m not even stressing. I got this.

Ladies, LOVE yourself confidently and remember at all times the many complicated LAYERS that make up you. The aspects and facets, the NUANCES of what makes you, uniquely you. Be confident at all times. You are THE shit. Don’t forget it.

KarenA ~ THEKarenA ~ Bowen Boldon House ~ Clark Nation ~ Giver of Life ~ Lover of Lands ~ Corporate Queen ~ Queen Mother ~ Producing Artist ~ Leader of Thoughts ~ Coach of Confidence



Be a blessing today. Be expectant, and be confident in your hope and your faith. You are worthy of love; blessings; and all that you have worked for.

I read a quote the other day that said “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough”. I am a bit scared right now. I have always held back just a little on my dreams, feeling perhaps like I’m not worth the BIG dream; I should be grateful with what I have; what if I fail? How do I get started? Who is my back up? Where is my team? How come no one has noticed me? I’m not the one….

BUT I have turned the corner. I have a BIG dream; and I have started the journey. I realize that I have sowed seeds and am due a harvest. I am worthy of a harvest. I expect a harvest. I am confident that I too am worthy of success; BIG success.

Why not me? Why not you? I am CONFIDENT that I am walking the right way, headed in the right direction and if others can do it, so can I.

I am a blessing to others, because that is what I am charged to do. I help whom I can, when I can. I wake up expecting miracles. My eyes, heart, and hands are open. I can give with open hands, and I can receive with open hands.




CONFIDENCE… an essential ingredient for turning thought into action, wishes into reality. The absence of confidence inhibits the sorts of behaviors – risk taking, failure, and perseverance needed to build and maintain confidence. This is troubling because of the long-term implications in our lives.


For newborns, the world is limitless, there are no boundaries. However, the word “NO” begins to show up early. No, don’t touch. No, you can’t. No, you shouldn’t. As children age, we begin to respond.


Girls respond - Sorry… Okay… Sorry. Excuse me…Okay Boys respond - Why not?... Hold on a minute… Only take a minute… Why not?


Volumes of research document that a confidence gap exists between men and women and it begins to show up strongly in middle school. Girls begin to shrink despite better performances academically. We shrink back from the experiences we need to have in order to grow and maintain confidence.


This lack of confidence carries into adulthood and spills over into various aspects of our lives. Men are more confident in applying for jobs, even when they are not qualified. Men are more confident negotiating for more, even when it is not justified. And, men are more financially confident than women. A survey published by CNBC reported that 90% of men feel confident to manage their money. Women are far less sure.


When it comes to Black people in general; even at the most educated levels, we are less financially confident than the general population, men included. That is because we traditionally lack the history, the access and the experience with money, that is needed to grow financial confidence.


It is imperative that the Black professional community; male and female, learn the skills and grow the confidence to manage personal finances; learn to ask the right questions; and seek the professional help that is available to help build, maintain and grow wealth. Otherwise, we will not be able to lead the way, and the wealth gap will continue to grow.


HOW DOES ONE BECOME FINANCIALLY CONFIDENT?


Since confidence is grown and maintained by having experiences, taking risks, winning and failing; it is important to be proactive and create the experiences you need to become savvy, and thus more confident. Most financial experts agree that these seven principles will help you to become financially confident.


1. Track Your Spending Daily. ... via journal, ledger, notebook. Do this for a month.


2. Adopt the 72-Hour Rule. ... no impulsive spending.


3. Automate Your Savings. ... it’s easy. Designate an amount to be automatically deducted bi-weekly or monthly.


4. Learn One New Thing Each Week. ...google or read the financial section of a paper.


5. Boost Your Credit Score. ...there is no reason for less than 700 with discipline. Need help? karen.a.clark@cnb.com; eric.clay@operationhope.org


6. Pay Down Debt. ...Start with the smallest. You will feel great! Confident!


7. Build an Emergency Fund. There is nothing like knowing you got your own back.


Call me, the Confidence Queen

Karen A Clark, SVP City National Bank

213 673 9124


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